Greetings, Master. Greetings, fellow practitioners.
At first I did not know what to write about for the experience sharing. Eventually I reflected on what fundamental attachments I still harbor, and are most responsible for keeping me from advancing in cultivation. I realize that I still have some human attachments to fame and power. While I don’t desire to gain fame by being a pop singer or actor, I want to be famous by making a landmark discovery or doing groundbreaking research, and on a smaller scale I am a people-pleaser by putting too much energy to getting people to like me, and when they don’t, I’m deflated. While Master says that (paraphrasing) one should do well at what one is supposed to do, including school and work, I have trouble staying grounded in the Fa, and it’s something I want to improve on for my professional and academic endeavors in the future – not having them feed the worst of my human attachments and interests, such as wealth and fame. Sometimes I catch myself showing off by expressing my intelligence for a topic or correcting someone else’s facts. This gives me a boost in ego or confidence, and momentarily I may feel superior or as if I am a better person because I am more intelligent. But these moments are fleeting, and since what really determines a person’s worth is how they align with Zhen, Shan, Ren, I shouldn’t ascribe too much value to my intelligence, for as if I were the smartest person in the world, and yet I were dishonest, lacking in compassion, and unable to forbear and tolerate hardships, my intelligence would likely be for naught, and I would likely be truly unhappy.
Promoting and volunteering for Shen Yun shows in Atlanta and the Southeastern U.S. for the past two season have given me a chance to get out of my comfort zone to tackle some fundamental fears I have, which include the anxiety of cold approaching and talking with strangers and receiving criticism from others. Last year, I was mostly responsible for Shen Yun promotion to apartment buildings and complexes in and near Atlanta. The thought of having to go up to strangers I didn’t know and introduce them to Shen Yun and ask if I can leave fliers for their residents made my palms sweaty. But with the help of other young practitioners who went with me and righteous thoughts, the actual process was not as scary as how I had imagined it in my head. By working together, the final outcome turned out much better than what could have possibly happened if we had worked alone. This reinforced the idea that even though I am responsible for my own cultivation, cooperating with others to help save sentient beings can result in an outcome that is a sum of its parts, and that I should take every opportunity that I can to ask for help and to help others in Fa rectification projects. This year, I worked on production and conducting interviews at a few shows in Georgia, Alabama, and Tennessee. At one particular show, I conducted interviews at intermission but did not get any good quotes and also forgot to ask the interviewees for some very basic information, such as their profession. I worked with a fellow practitioner who was the cameraman. He reminded me calmly not to forget these crucial questions for the interviews after the show. But during the first interview after the show, I had forgotten again – and I felt a sharp tap on my shoulder, and heard him whisper to me sharply, “Profession! Profession!” I felt a bit annoyed and upset. In my mind, I thought: “I was just about to ask them that, you don’t need to remind me.” But after a deep breath I realized I was just rationalizing my mistake, and I became grateful that he had reminded me, as it was my fault after all that I had forgotten to ask. So in a pause in conversation, I did ask them for their profession, and I didn’t forget again for the ensuing interviews.
Reflecting on my years of cultivation, there have been times when I have been less diligent. For the future, I aim to be more consistent with Fa study and participating in Fa rectification activities. I am very thankful for Master and for Dafa for grounding me in the principles of what it means to be a good person. I have had friends and known acquaintances who have cheated on tests, treated other people abhorrently, and blame everything in the world but themselves for their shortcomings. I am in no way a perfect person, and still have a lot of improvement and self-reflection to do. But Master and Dafa have no doubt improved my life for the better and helped me to fend off the constant pressures to be more self-centered, deceitful, and unkind.
Thank you, Master. Thank you, fellow practitioners.
