At the New Year of 2017, fellow practitioner H and I were promoting Shen Yun in a nearby small city. After putting up posters for a whole day, I asked H if she was hungry. I thought if she was not hungry, we could continue to investigate the restaurant that would cater to Shen Yun. She said she was totally fine and we could have some food later after we came back to the hotel. Thus, we went to the restaurant and talked to the owner about some issues. The owner was very hospitable and invited us to have a dinner there. I refused it because I didn’t feel hungry and then I asked H if she hoped to eat there. She refused it as well. It had been very late after we went back to the hotel. I thought we could just have some snacks since both of us were not that hungry. The next day, I didn’t expect H would start to complain about me being so careless, not considering her feelings and not being able to take care of others since she had been so tired and so hungry for the whole day. I was very surprised and responded like: “Didn’t I just ask you whether you want to have food? We are both practitioners and you can tell me anything directly. Why would you want others to guess your mind?” After hearing this, she became more upset and continued to complain about me being so selfish. She even took the example of another two fellow practitioners N and F for always being so considerate and taking care of others. I thought she was so unfair since I was also very tired for the whole day. If you directly told me you were hungry, I would definitely have taken you to have some food. How is it possible for me to guess your feelings? We had some conflicts. Although in the end I admitted that I was a very careless person and hoped she could tell me directly about her feelings next time, I still felt like this was not a big deal and she was just overreacting.
In the weekend after the Shen Yun shows, fellow practitioner Z and her husband invited our whole family to their home for a dinner and made a very thoughtful arrangement about the night. They even planned some activities for the kids after the dinner and made us feel at home. We had a very good time there. Z and her husband came to the U.S. for study many years ago and nowadays they both had very good careers and economic conditions. Z is very gentle and graceful and her husband supports Dafa very well. At the dinner, we shared some cultivation experiences and I asked her a lot about American customs. She answered my questions very patiently. In this period, my husband reminded me several times that it was time to go home. However, I didn’t take his words to heart and thought it was not hurry at all since my daughters didn’t have to go to school the next day and Shen Yun had left.
By the time we left, I suddenly noticed that it had been very late like 11 pm and both my daughters were very sleepy. I felt I was so rude and realized that, in order not to interrupt our conversation, Z’s husband tried many ways to please my husband and my daughters and gave the kids some candies as gifts to make them happy. After considering his thoughtfulness, I felt even guiltier. I didn’t consider others’ feelings and awkwardness at all even if we had already interrupted them for so long at their home.
By this time, I recalled the criticism from practitioner H and realized that my problem was so real. H was much older than me and exhausted herself during the promotion. She must have been very tired and hungry after a whole day of hard work. Even though I was working with her, most of the time I was just driving. Why couldn’t I be just more considerate about her feelings? Master taught us to think about others first in whatever situation, but I always excused myself as being not sticking to the trivialities. I was so wrong. In addition, I noticed how hard Z and her husband always tried to convert things to a better situation when we were not behaving well enough. But when I deal with such problems, I always tend to point out others’ shortcomings, which usually makes the situation worse. From this point, I also realize that cultivation is not built on complaints. I think I will pay more attention to this respect in the future.
