Falun Dafa Association of Atlanta
The Great Way
Liang Z.
Giving up the attachment of emotion
It’s a shame that I’d never formally written an experience sharing article since I started practicing Falun Gong. The requirement to write an experience sharing article for everyone attending the Fahui gave me the chance to think about the moments since I started to cultivate Dafa. Also, I hope I can improve myself by taking this opportunity.
Master said in Zhuan Falun: “Cultivation must take place through tribulations to test whether you can part with and care less about different kinds of human emotions and desires. If you are attached to these things, you will not succeed in cultivation.“
I felt emotionally attached since I started practicing Falun Gong and experienced many exams and tests on this subject. As a mother, I am especially attached toward my children. Many things are just a piece of cake for other diligent practitioners, however for me, it’s a big issue.
My older daughter was admitted by Fei Tian academy in 2009. It was large scale admission since Fei Tian Academy of Arts was founded. Same as the other practitioners, I understood that Shen Yun is a project to save the sentimental beings by Master. I encouraged my eldest 12-year-old daughter to apply for it. My older daughter is a quiet girl who loves crafts and painting. She plays violin in school orchestra and performed excellently in the academic exams. The requirements for entering Shen Yun had been increased, and I just wanted her to try and she ended up actually getting admitted. After a couple seconds of happiness, I could not help but feel missing her and sadness which surprised myself. I realized that my daughter would stay at Fei Tian Academy immediately since she got admitted. She is going to have strict training and be in a group life environment. Moreover, the study and training will be more rigorous than normal schools. There is only one day of rest each week and two weeks of vacation a year. This means I will seldom see my daughter while I live a thousand miles away... I had thought about the situation before, however, in reality, it was a tremendous emotional burden... My fellow practitioner’s kid who carpooled with us also got admitted and the couple looks fairly quiet. Well, I should be happy. This is a rare opportunity. How many practitioners are looking forward to their kids having this opportunity to attend Fei Tian Academy and have the opportunity to perform in Shen Yun and help Master rectify the Fa and save sentimental beings! Why was I not happy? I couldn’t help but cry quite a while on the ride back home. I never imagined I would be so sad and I felt like I forgot why I was there. My mind became preoccupied with the moments of my daughter growing up...
Back home. The routines of daily life went on, however I felt a heaviness in my heart every second, it made me stubborn and everything around me could trigger me missing my daughter. I was scared to visit my older daughter’s room. I am afraid of missing my daughter when I see her room. I was constantly in tears and felt depressed. Nothing made me excited, I felt no meaning in life… I knew something was wrong with me. I felt my attachment caused bad matter. I was so fragile as a Dafa practitioner who had cultivated so many years. I am shy to actively share my thoughts with my fellow practitioners since I am afraid of losing face. I worry my fellow practitioners will make fun of me for having heavy human notions and my savvy is too bad because I didn’t realize that my daughter went to such a wonderful destination. People may think I am so lucky and why was I depressed? I couldn't show my sadness in front of my husband, since he is an ordinary person. He strongly supports Dafa though, he also cares about family life and enjoys the happiness of it. He had a business trip out of the country while my daughter was interviewed. I didn’t tell him about the importance of Fei Tian Academy of Arts. He thought our daughter will have spring break, summer break and winter break and other holidays as normal school.
He often asks me if we can take our daughter on vacation when some holiday comes. What I can do is hide my sadness in my heart. Good thing is my fellow practitioners around me realized it. One practitioner said: “Is that your kid? That’s Master’s kid. You took care of her well and made sure she grew up and handed her to Master. Your job is done. Don’t think about it too much. “ I listened to my fellow practitioner. I started to realize that I shouldn’t let the emotional attachment towards my daughter grow any more. Because emotion originated from my selfishness. What I can do is think upon matters based on the Fa’s point of view, only that way can I give up the attachment and increase compassion, righteous thoughts, and reduce the heaviness on my heart. My righteous thoughts increased whenever fellow practitioners communicated with me. However, I still had too much negative thoughts whenever I am by myself. One time I was especially upset, I talked to Master in my mind: “Master, I am so sorry, I am depressed because I am too emotionally attached. I believe it’s temporary, I will pass the exam sooner or later. Please help me.” I realized that Master removed the bad matter for me and I recovered my confidence and realized that I can pass this test.
I continually checked myself and my thoughts and found that tribulations were caused by many elements. There were attachments to fame, money, and a comfortable life. Outside of emotional attachments, the most important is I have the issue of trusting Master and the Fa. Although I knew that practitioners are different from ordinary people who are attached to fame and money, I made sure my children studied the Fa daily and participated in Dafa activities. However, I was also very caring about my daughters’ education, life quality, and environment and they grew up in a comparably comfortable lifestyle. She enrolled in an excellent school and she has very nice academic performance and talent. Similar to my friends’ children, she would have been admitted by a great college based on her current performance in school and eventually lead a very comfortable life…
But at that time, it was less than two years since the foundation of Fei Tian Academy of Arts, many projects were still proceeding without fully equipped conditions. I remembered that I had to rush when bidding farewell to my daughter at the mountain. I helped her put her luggage in the temporary dorm room and noticed that the room she will be staying is old and small, albeit clean. The room is for 4 students, however, it’s less than half the space of her home bedroom. Also several rooms share one bathroom. I worried if she can adapt to the new environment and experienced many ordinary people’s thoughts on her position. I was not sure if dance reflects her interests or her strengths. I was concerned if she could endure the rigorous and stressful dance training based on her current energy. I was concerned if she will miss anything she should be taught since her culture class times were shorter. Such questions and concerns shook my righteous thoughts which help Master rectify the Fa and save sentient beings. I knew my cultivation was not quite right. The human notions are so strong. I must read the Fa more diligently.
In Zhuan Falun, “How should our practitioners treat losses and gains? It is different from everyday people. What everyday people want is personal gain and how to live well and comfortably. Our practitioners are not this way, but exactly the opposite. We do not seek what everyday people want. Instead, what we get is something everyday people cannot obtain-even if they want to-except through cultivation.” “Human beings often believe that everything they pursue is good. In fact, from a high-level perspective, all of this serves to satisfy those bits of vested interests among everyday people. It is said in religion that regardless of how much money you have or how high your position ranks, it is good for only a few decades, you cannot bring these things along with you at birth, or carry them away with you after death. Why is gong so precious? It is precisely because it grows right on the body of your Original Soul and can be carried with you at birth and taken forth after death. In addition, gong directly determines your Fruition Status in cultivation, and it is therefore difficult to cultivate. In other words, what you lose is something bad. Thus, you can return to your original, true self. So what do you gain? The improvement of your level. Eventually you achieve Righteous Fruition and complete cultivation, solving the fundamental issue.“ I felt these words were talking to me. I realized that the purpose of learning Dafa is that Dafa could solve the fundamental issues which are more precious than money and fame which ordinary people pursued. My daughter stayed at Fei Tian Academy and studied the Fa and did the exercises everyday with her classmates which is a wonderful cultivation environment. It is a good thing for her to endure hardships. It’s important that she grows up with Dafa as it guarantees her being a Dafa practitioner in the future. I felt my mind was clear and body became light...
After a while of my daughter being on the mountain, my husband, younger daughter and I went together to see her. My husband and I were surprised to find that my older daughter had an obvious change after only one month - she became cleverer and more polite. She was happy and showed us the fairy lady she painted and the Chinese Fa she hand-wrote and the snacks that Master gave to them. She said: “Mom, do you know our school is actually not a school?” “What’s that then?” I curiously asked. “It’s a temple” She meaningfully answered. “We say that going to school is being at home...” I couldn’t help but think: this is Master borrowing my daughter’s mouth and communicating to me the Fa that I should have known a while ago. I shouldn’t be using ordinary people’s notions to compare Fei Tian to ordinary people’s school. What’s the difference compared to a temple? It’s specifically for cultivation. Traditionally, it’s a cultivation place for monks. In the past, the monks needed to be clean. How can I be attached to living the life of an ordinary person? “One’s life is not for being human. It is meant to return to one’s original, true self.“ [Zhuan Falun]. These children with pure hearts are truly lucky. These girls can stay alongside with Master and listen to Master. It is so wonderful and fortunate for these young girls when they are at a pure age and could assimilate with Dafa.
One day a fellow practitioner who works at Fei Tian Academy shared with me:” Master has solved many hardships for them when they truly did well on what they are supposed to do. For example, many students and teachers in Fei Tian Academy don’t feel homesick or miss their families. Everybody realized that it is Master who eliminated the pain of missing their families. In the following few years, I felt that my attachment to my daughter became lighter; although sometimes it will manifest for a moment, I no longer feel it is a major issue for me. I will not let it interfere with me, and instead, I am more concentrated on the 3 things that a Dafa disciple is supposed to do. Master said at Fa Teaching at the 2015 West Coast Fa Conference: “As a living being, each life has its own responsibility. Each is an individual life and represents its own group of lives. Young children follow their parents, and how well their parents cultivate will have an impact on them—especially when the child is the type that’s quite dependent on his or her parents. With the students at the Fei Tian school, or even Shen Yun’s intern performers, you can tell from how the person behaves how his parents’ cultivation is...”
I felt shame when I read this paragraph. Although I acted calm in front of my daughter, my heavy human notions must have affected my daughter as well as my daughter in another dimension. It must be Master who helped her solve many hardships. I deeply appreciate Master’s boundless compassion…
Above are my experience sharing on passing the tests of emotion. I also have this issue with regards to emotions to my family members and my fellow practitioners. I constantly have human notions. However, in the many years of cultivation I’ve experienced, I felt aid and protection from Master as well as the unselfish aid from my fellow practitioners. Once again thank you Master and thank you to my fellow practitioners!
All rights reserved © Copyright FalunDafaGA.org
