Y. J.

Greetings Master, Greetings Fellow Practitioners. Today I will share how I stepped into cultivation and a few stories during my cultivation.

Obtain the Fa and Step into Cultivation

In 1997, Falun Gong practice sites were spotted in all major parks in Shenyang City. My mother obtained the Fa during that period of time. Mom was a business woman. She was a Buddhist before she obtained the Fa and there were six Buddha sculptures in the house, including the God of Fortune. I did not eat meat on the first and 15th day each month following my mom’s taboo. However, I did not do that willingly. I only did it out of my fear toward my mom. When I got into my twenties, I lost interest in meat. Later, when mom started Dafa cultivation, she left Buddhism. Then all my families started to cultivate Dafa with my mom. At the time I could not understand why people could not stay in one belief. How could they change their beliefs so easily? I figured that I was already an adult and should have my own viewpoint, and I should not just blindly follow my mom to change my belief. Knowing my thoughts and attitude, my mom blamed herself that she had led me to a deviated way and was not able to take me back to the righteous path.

My mom then would sometimes intentionally play Master’s Fa lecture or exercise teaching video when I was present. I remained as an outsider of Dafa cultivation for a few years. Nevertheless, our compassionate Master had already taken care of me. I always had some strange dreams. Once I dreamed the whole space was filled with golden shining characters and I was told to remember those characters, but I was not able to remember anything once waking up.

One night I had a dream, I was standing in the courtyard and looking at the stars in the sky. Then some stars started flying toward me. I found they were Faluns once they approached me. At the time I was scared instead of feeling happy, so I ran into the house and wanted to lock the door. No matter how hard I tried, I was unable to lock it. My mom had been hoping that I could quickly step into Dafa, but I was not moved at all.

When I told my mom about the dream, she said she never had those kinds of dreams although she had cultivated for a few years already, and I must have very good inborn quality. Then she started to criticize me that my enlightenment was too poor and I was too lost in the meaningless, every people’s work. The more she talked about that, the angrier she became, and the worse her emotion and tone. Knowing my mom’s temper, I did not argue with her. Instead, I walked to the front of Master’s picture and kneed down. I said, “Master, please take a look at that woman. She said how wonderful Dafa is but I did not see any change in her. Looking at the way she behaved, I do not want to learn Dafa.” Mom was then stunned and did not say anything. I left after saying that.

After all, mom is a cultivator and knows how to look inward. She regretted about the inappropriate words she uttered and asked my brother and father to talk to me. I refused to see them. Uable to figure out a way communicate with me, my mom wrote me a letter. That was the first time that mom communicated with me by letter. I kept that letter till today. In the letter she said, “Yahui, my dear daughter, do you still remember? Before you came to this world, you could choose who should be your mom. You eventually chose me because you had the confidence that when Dafa is spread out, I would be able to take you into Dafa to cultivate together with me. However, now you are lost in the human world. Mom worries about you very much. I only wanted to make you to listen because I am the mother, but I failed to treat myself as a Dafa disciple. Mom was wrong. Please forgive me. Mom will be waiting for you here until you also walk into Dafa so we can cultivate together. I also hope that you can take back your words you said in front of the Lord Buddha.”

At the time, the evil persecution by the CCP started and my family since then never had a moment of peace. My brother was illegally arrested. My mom was sent to labor camp twice before she was illegally sentenced to a five-year in Dabei Prison in Shenyang. After a year in prison, we were told to take her back because she had a hunger strike and was on the verge of death. My mom was slightly overweight but when she was carried out of prison, she looked like a skeleton and her hair all turned white during the year. Seeing that, I thought my mom would die even we took her home. I cried, “Mom, we are taking you back home. Please be strong. Didn’t you say that you would teach me to do cultivation? I will learn the exercise with you.”

After returning home for a few days, my mom miraculously became energetic again. I asked her with suspicion, “Mom, did you really have a hunger strike or you just faked it?” She said of course it was real. I said I was surprised she looked so different in only a few days. She said, “Don’t you believe this is a manifestation of the power of Dafa? I still remember that you said you would cultivate with me!” Hearing that, I once again walked to the front of Master’s portrait and kneed down sincerely, thanked Master. From then on, I truly walked on the path of cultivation. In tribulations, I reminded myself many times that this is my own decision after careful thinking and I should never regret or give up.

My family was forced to get out of China that year and only I myself stayed. I would go back to my parents’ house every now and then to check on the house and, every time I went there, I would burn incense for Master. Then I would recall the warm atmosphere that was once in the house: the laughter of my brother and sister-in-law, my mom’s words, my naughty niece, etc. Nothing is the same and only an empty house is left behind. I really wanted to go back in time to study Fa and do the exercises with them.

After a few years, my mom and my brother’s family came to the U.S. at the end of 2006. In October of 2007, I came to the U.S. to visit them. During my stay, practitioners working for our media tried to convince me to stay in the U.S. so I could take advantage of the experience of working for media in China to help our media in the U.S. At the time, it was very hard for me to give up fame and profit I gained in China after many years’ hard work. I went back China afterwards.

I was fortunate enough though that I saw our benevolent Master that year. Master was giving a lecture and I raised many silly questions, because at that time, I did not study the Fa well. For example, I asked Master whether I had predestined relationship with Master as I never attended Master’s class in Mainland China. Master looked at me with a smile and did not say anything. Later on, I felt ashamed each time I thought about my question. How come I asked such a silly question when I was sitting right in front of Lord Buddha! Master mentioned (not original words) that the extended time was for Dafa disciples. If the Fa rectification is to finish now, can you achieve consummation? I dare not think about it that day, as it would mean that I would not have any opportunity.

During Beijing Olympic Games in 2008, evil CCP illegally arrested many Dafa disciples and I was one of them. Without any legal evidence, they threw me into Masanjia Labor Camp for a year. In the labor camp, I witnessed numerous Dafa disciples’ righteous actions and firm faith in Dafa when being tortured. During the persecution, all Dafa disciples had the Fa as the source of their strength and were careful not to have even a little bit of human thought when facing the evil. In the evil camp, we almost had forgotten that we were individuals. The evil even called us “you Falun Gongs”.

We had to be one-body. Each time when a practitioner was taken out to be tortured or beaten, all other practitioners would stop doing whatever they were doing, stopped eating and drinking and persisted day one, day two, and day three…. till the persecuted practitioner was released. Everybody’s heart was together and that suffocated the evil with great power. At that time, there was no coordinator. A few gestures and exchanges of looks would be enough for practitioners to understand each other. After I got out of China, I saw quite often conflicts between practitioners and the coordinators and I really felt helpless. In the labor camp, the hair of quite a few practitioners turned all white in a few months. During that year, many of my human thoughts and attachments that were hard for me to give up were gone.

Saving Sentient Beings with Media Sales

If the cultivation in China was a test to my faith in Dafa, my genuine Xinxing cultivation just started after I settled down in the U.S.

After I came to NYC, I plunged into media and wanted to make up the time I wasted in everyday people’s life. Master has mentioned many times the importance of media in Fa lectures. Because I had quite some experience from working for everyday people’s society, it was quite easy to do sales for our media. While working for our media, I also saw the conflicts and jealousy among practitioners and the unhappiness of practitioners towards the managers. While encountering those issues, I did not get involved to solve problems. I felt the views of individuals were not that important. I should be fine as long as I could do the sales well. I always chose to avoid and escape from issues instead of letting go of my attachments.

Once a practitioner asked me whether I would like to visit a realtor with her. That realtor was from Taiwan and was quite successful. The practitioner had worked with the realtor for two years but the realtor did not sign the contract although she never refused to see us. I said I would go with her. After we met for the first time, we made an appointment to meet for the second time. Two or three hours before our meeting, I suddenly felt tired and wanted to take a nap. Then I had a dream. In the dream, I walked into an ancient town. Upon seeing me, people in the town whispered to each other, “she’s back. She’s back.” It seemed many people knew me, although I did not even know who I was.

There was a little girl in the town and she was about four or five years old. She would beg for food when she was hungry and slept in hays when she was sleepy. She had endured countless hardship in order to wait for her mom to return. After many years, she looked the same without growing up. When I walked into the ancient town, the girl saw me and rushed into my embrace, “Mom, you are eventually back!” I hold her tightly and felt her tiny body was so cold. My heart was filled with sorrow and grief. I was in such deep sorrow that I cried. I blamed myself why I was so mindless that I did not even know that I lost my own child. She gradually fell into sleep in my arm and my tears dropped onto her face. I looked at her carefully and found her eyes and mouth looked very much like the realtor I was about to meet.

After I woke up, I still felt the pain in my heart. Thinking about the child in my dream, I let my emotion to flood over and cried hard. I knew that our benevolent Master was giving me a hint that people with predestined relationship with us have been waiting for us for ages. After so many years and enduring countless hardships, what they expected is just to meet us again. The realtor was about my mother’s age. If looking at her from the surface, I would never think that she is the child who had endured so much hardship just to wait for my returning. Master has mentioned in Fa lecture (not original words) that we should clarify the facts, no matter what kind of position the person held, a president or an ordinary person. But we are different from them. They are waiting for us to save them.

When I saw the realtor again, I did not have the mentality of seeing a customer, instead, a long-missed family. When I was shaking hands with her, I asked her with deep caring, “How have you been?” After saying that, being afraid of in tears, I turned my head away. I found the twinkling of tears in her eyes too. Maybe deep in her heart, she felt and realized something. The conversation between us went very smoothly and she was in agreement with our suggestions and plan. That day, we accomplished the biggest contract for the NYC Epoch Times in real estate. With Master’s hint this time, I dared not slack off even a little bit for a period of time because there are too many people with predestined relationship with us are waiting. The market resembles a battle field. After the sentient beings learned the truth and had the correct attitude toward Dafa, their facial expression was at ease. With the contract being signed, one more sentient being has been saved.

Pass Xinxing Test

In 2014, I moved to Atlanta with my husband. For a period of time, I thought I walked on the path arranged by the old forces. I felt that I was worthless. My English is not good. I do not know America. I felt I was a Made-in-China product with poor quality but was placed in a magnificent palace. All the good feeling I had was gone. I looked back at my path of cultivation and calmed down to find how many human mentalities I still have. Then I was shocked that I found none of the human mentalities have left me: competition, jealousy, showing off, seeking fame and self-interest, lust, etc. I asked myself, after so many years, have I truly cultivated myself? Or was I the kind of person once mentioned by Master (not original words) that some people are just staying among Dafa disciples but not really in the Fa? Those people treat doing work as cultivation. I was very upset and was not able to cheer myself up. Mainland practitioners were thrown into physical prisons, but I walked myself into the prison of my own heart.

Fa rectification has approached toward the end. I felt that I was not a match of a disciple of the Lord Buddha and even far from a Dafa disciple during Fa Rectification. I did not want to interact with practitioners and instead, I tried to befriend everyday people. When interacting with those everyday people, I would observe their behavior and judge them using the Fa as to what attachment they have and what kind of human mentalities they have. Deep in my heart, they were thousands of miles away from me. Where should I go? I was in such a big dilemma.

Master taught us in “Fa Teaching at the 2015 West Coast Fa Conference” that, “In the past, cultivators would remove attachments one after another. But in your case, almost all of your attachments remain while they are weakened and lessened one layer at a time, weakened and lessened continually, further and further. That’s the approach that I have taken with you, and it allows our Dafa disciples to live normally among ordinary people prior to achieving consummation and to save people in a normal manner while being one of them. At the same time, precisely because your human thoughts haven’t been fully removed, it allows you to cultivate against their interference, and if you can stay alert and cultivate yourself at all times, and fulfill your responsibilities as a Dafa disciple, that is mighty virtue and is simply extraordinary. And that is your path.”

It seems that Master stood right in front of me and lectured me, who failed to cultivate diligently. I kneed down in front of Master’s portrait but dared not to look up at Master. I cried for Master in my heart numerous times.

I recalled an encounter in NYC. Once day I went to a supermarket for shopping with my mom and my brother and saw the bus of Shen Yun parked along the road. Mom and brother were picking the groceries they wanted but I did not have the mind to do that. I was thinking probably Master was here. Just after I had that thought, I saw a gentleman walking from the end of the isle. It was Master, walking toward me with a smile.

After Master passed by, I followed in distance and I was hesitating whether it was appropriate to do that. After walking out of the door, Master turned around and stood there waiting. Because there were too many people, I did not approach Master and only did a slight “Heshi” towards Master. At that time, Master raised his right arm and gestured “turning around” twice. In my mind, the two characters “turning around” appeared.

In “Fa Teaching at the 2015 West Coast Fa Conference” Master said, “Yet in all of history no one has ever cultivated for only such a short time. But these people have allowed themselves to grow lax, and when even just a little interference comes, they forget that they are Dafa disciples. What are you cultivating for? For your reputation? Out of resentment? For the attachments you harbor? For your loved ones? For the things you’re attached to? For the things you can’t let go of? Aren’t all of these exactly the things that you should be getting rid of?”

I must turn around my notions and ways of thinking. When I truly calm down and look inward, I found a lot of attachments: I have a very strong self-esteem and mentality of self-protection. I cannot be criticized. From a very young age, even my parents cannot criticize me. I also admire the talents of people. I have CCP culture that formed over the years. I would develop the mentality of hatred and complaint whenever encountering some issues. I made up my mind to eliminate all those human mentalities. With my mind turned around, everything around me all changed. The feeling of gratitude arose from my heart and I am now thankful to all people and things around me.

For a period of time, it happened often that fellow practitioners told me that my husband (a fellow practitioner) has changed a lot. At the beginning I was happy to hear that, with the thought that it was me who changed him. Later I realized what a bad thought that was. Nobody can change anybody else. It was only the power of the Fa that changes people and also, one cannot change unless the genuine side of the person him/herself truly wants to change.

My family once had a mini experience sharing conference in the living room and we reminded each other’s shortcomings and pointing out things we should make improvement on without criticizing or blaming. My daughter said to my husband, “It would be great if dad can pay more attention when you talk. Maybe you have hurt people without knowing that, but you have done really well in other things.” My husband nodded seriously and wrote down “Cultivate Speech” on three pieces of paper and post them in front of his bed, on the fridge, and by the sofa. We could tell that how eagerly he wanted to cultivate well in this regard. Touched and in tears, my mother-in-law (everyday person) said, “It is my first time seeing this kind of family meeting. I will definitely tell others what I saw here.”

I have been involved in Shen Yun promotion twice since I moved to Atlanta. In Oct. 2015, our coordinator asked me whether I could coordinate flyer distribution at theaters. There are many local practitioners who know well about the local geographical features and the theaters and are in a better position to coordinate the project. I hesitated a bit but my husband suggested that I should not look at others and instead, I should do whatever I am able to do. I then agreed to be the project coordinator. Meanwhile I knew that I should do more. Comparing to other projects, I think the flyer distributing was mainly about using my legs to run around to do things.

When there was only a single theatre that had performance, my family and I would try our best to go there to distribute flyers. I thought we should do that because every practitioner was very busy and as long as we were able to cover it, we did not want to use too much resource from other practitioners. It was out of my expectation that I eventually found that I was wrong because that was a cultivation opportunity for all practitioners and I should not leave this opportunity to only myself. As a coordinator, I should not have done it all by myself, instead, I should motivate all practitioners to get involved.

I started to regret that I did not have a realistic view on myself and wondered how I dared to take the responsibility. When I began to contact other practitioners to go to theaters, I heard all kind of comments. “How long have you been here? Do you really know the situation in this city? Are you clear which practitioners are close to which theaters? How can you coordinate since you do not even speak English well?”

I did think what those practitioners said was correct but I was wondering how come none of the local practitioners would like to shoulder the responsibility of coordinating the project. I realized how much pressure the coordinators of major projects face based on my own experience when coordinating such as small project. I have been here for less than two years but we already had three coordinators. What kind of coordinators did our local practitioners want to have?

Thinking about that, I felt a bit uneasy and unhappy. However, I realized in no time that this is cultivation. Otherwise, how can we broaden our mind and heart? I already realized that I did not have the compassion that a cultivator should have. Master has once mentioned that “The greatest manifestation of shan is compassion” in “Fa Teaching at the 2009 Washington DC International Fa Conference”. I myself had not harmonized myself with this new cultivation environment either.

Of course, many practitioners have proactively cooperated, which inspired me very much. A practitioner couple always went to the theaters timely whenever we were short of manpower and no matter how busy they were. Most of the time, they just quietly coordinate with other practitioners and quietly got things done and provided support. There was another practitioner who said, “I do not work these days and would like to do more. Please just feel free to get me whenever you need.”

Once there was a performance in an outdoor theatre and we needed 10 practitioners to distribute flyers over there. I only made a few phone calls and sent out one email. As a result, 16 practitioners got to the theater on time to help. We were grouped in several teams to distribute flyers by the gates of the amphetheater. When crowds of audience came out, all practitioners cooperated as we planned and put Shen Yun flyers into the hands of the sentient beings with predestined relationships. The atmosphere was very peaceful and harmonious. It was truly a field of righteous thoughts that can save sentient beings.

Afterwards I realized that I do not need to look at others at all. What I need to do is just do well the things I am supposed to do. I am very grateful to this new cultivation environment and thankful to each of the practitioners here because they all helped me realize my gaps and attachments. As long as I have the trust in practitioners and sincerely cooperate, there is no doubt for us to form a whole body and do everything better. Assisting Master with Fa rectification is not just a slogan.

Above is my sharing. Please point out any gaps.
Thank you Master, thank you fellow practitioners.